1 00:00:23,382 --> 00:00:25,400 This is a love story. 2 00:00:26,426 --> 00:00:27,569 Love, 3 00:00:28,370 --> 00:00:31,648 it's supposed to be patient and kind. 4 00:00:31,682 --> 00:00:33,483 But let's be honest, 5 00:00:33,517 --> 00:00:35,235 it's irrational. 6 00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:37,362 It can make us crazy. 7 00:00:37,396 --> 00:00:40,198 And sometimes downright insane. 8 00:00:40,232 --> 00:00:41,291 I should know. 9 00:00:42,901 --> 00:00:45,662 My husband made me small. 10 00:00:47,864 --> 00:00:49,583 Whoa, oh. 11 00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:51,418 No. 12 00:00:51,451 --> 00:00:52,753 Whoa! 13 00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:55,339 It's not a metaphor. 14 00:00:55,372 --> 00:00:57,674 He made me six inches tall. 15 00:00:57,708 --> 00:00:59,384 Help! 16 00:00:59,418 --> 00:01:02,095 I'm literally the size of a dry martini, 17 00:01:02,129 --> 00:01:03,847 shaken, stirred, 18 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:07,150 and nursing the burn of every sip. 19 00:01:09,553 --> 00:01:11,521 Even at our ugliest, 20 00:01:11,555 --> 00:01:14,733 I still believe our love's worth fighting for. 21 00:01:17,060 --> 00:01:19,162 But fair warning, 22 00:01:20,063 --> 00:01:24,293 it's going to get worse before it gets better. 23 00:01:30,907 --> 00:01:32,250 To us. 24 00:01:32,284 --> 00:01:33,427 To us. 25 00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:41,885 To recapturing the magic. 26 00:01:41,918 --> 00:01:44,721 To the journey, not the destination. 27 00:01:44,755 --> 00:01:45,973 And to Dr. Carmichael, 28 00:01:46,006 --> 00:01:47,891 couples therapist extraordinaire. 29 00:01:47,924 --> 00:01:49,860 - To her words of wisdom. - Uh-hmm. 30 00:01:51,470 --> 00:01:54,773 And speaking of the journey. - It was, uh, bumpy. 31 00:01:54,806 --> 00:01:57,901 Yeah. Yeah, hit a few potholes. 32 00:01:57,934 --> 00:01:58,986 - Yeah. - Yeah. 33 00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:00,779 Checked into separate rooms. 34 00:02:00,812 --> 00:02:03,323 Um, but I am working through 35 00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:05,283 my narcissistic tendencies. 36 00:02:05,317 --> 00:02:07,953 And I am working on my accountability issues. 37 00:02:07,986 --> 00:02:10,330 Uh-hmm. And here we are. 38 00:02:10,364 --> 00:02:11,915 We made it. 39 00:02:11,948 --> 00:02:13,250 Got to the next stop. 40 00:02:13,283 --> 00:02:17,129 Dr. Carmichael's New year, new us: 41 00:02:17,162 --> 00:02:20,090 a grand gesture. I'd like to go first. 42 00:02:20,123 --> 00:02:22,476 - Okay. Great. Yeah. - Okay. 43 00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:32,686 I've arranged to get the Vermont gang back together 44 00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:34,479 at the gray house on New Year's Eve 45 00:02:34,513 --> 00:02:36,440 for our anniversary, 46 00:02:36,473 --> 00:02:38,200 so we can renew our vows. 47 00:02:39,476 --> 00:02:42,612 New year, new us. 48 00:02:42,646 --> 00:02:45,782 I'm speechless. 49 00:02:45,816 --> 00:02:47,367 We were so happy there. 50 00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:49,161 Yeah. Uh-hmm. 51 00:02:49,194 --> 00:02:50,787 - Really? - Really. 52 00:02:50,821 --> 00:02:52,122 Are Gary and Meg gonna be there? 53 00:02:52,155 --> 00:02:53,957 They're giving up Cabo. 54 00:02:53,990 --> 00:02:55,709 - Lulu? - Our daughter 55 00:02:55,742 --> 00:02:58,128 has not returned my calls. - Oh, she's 18, she won't. 56 00:02:58,161 --> 00:02:59,796 They don't do phones. Always send a text. 57 00:02:59,830 --> 00:03:01,840 - Okay. - Okay. My turn. 58 00:03:01,873 --> 00:03:03,508 Okay. 59 00:03:03,542 --> 00:03:05,469 - This will be... - Uh-hmm. 60 00:03:05,502 --> 00:03:08,638 ...the last Christmas that we spend in St. Louis 61 00:03:08,672 --> 00:03:10,724 because I have listed our house 62 00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:12,476 with the contingency to rent it back 63 00:03:12,509 --> 00:03:14,061 from the buyer through next December. 64 00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:16,521 I am going to land this big fish 65 00:03:16,555 --> 00:03:19,149 and tomorrow, I'm gonna get Hilton Smith 66 00:03:19,182 --> 00:03:21,193 to bankroll the final stage of my life's work, 67 00:03:21,226 --> 00:03:23,695 so that in one year, Lindy, 68 00:03:23,729 --> 00:03:26,073 we can move back to the gray house 69 00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:29,493 permanently, like I promised years ago. 70 00:03:29,526 --> 00:03:32,329 A clean slate and a fresh start. 71 00:03:32,362 --> 00:03:35,332 I supported you and you got your prize. 72 00:03:35,365 --> 00:03:38,418 And all I ask is that for one more year 73 00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:40,554 you support me so I can get mine. 74 00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:43,557 Are you serious? 75 00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:47,719 The listing went up... 76 00:03:47,753 --> 00:03:48,895 today. 77 00:03:52,048 --> 00:03:54,317 - This is real? - Very. 78 00:03:58,388 --> 00:03:59,573 Les. 79 00:04:02,434 --> 00:04:03,827 I love you. 80 00:04:04,728 --> 00:04:07,497 Lindy, I love you too. 81 00:04:15,447 --> 00:04:17,040 Thank you. 82 00:04:17,073 --> 00:04:19,876 Thank you for inviting me back into our bed. 83 00:04:44,434 --> 00:04:46,069 How does one solve 84 00:04:46,102 --> 00:04:49,072 the problem of feeding the world? 85 00:04:49,105 --> 00:04:52,284 Only Les Littlejohn knows. 86 00:04:52,317 --> 00:04:55,745 Now, what if we could take, say, an ear of corn, 87 00:04:55,779 --> 00:05:00,000 and shrink it to a fraction of its original size? 88 00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:04,129 Just imagine a farmer could grow ten, a hundred, 89 00:05:04,162 --> 00:05:06,089 a thousand ears of corn 90 00:05:06,122 --> 00:05:08,508 in the space it takes to grow one. 91 00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:12,095 But how does cellular reduction work? 92 00:05:12,128 --> 00:05:15,515 My revolutionary molecular transformation process 93 00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:19,186 fundamentally changes the distance between atoms. 94 00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:21,271 Oh, the real question is, 95 00:05:21,304 --> 00:05:23,523 can you restore the corn cob to regular size 96 00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:25,025 after it's been miniaturized? 97 00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:27,861 Not only can we do it, we will do it, 98 00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:30,038 together, Hilton Smith, 99 00:05:30,305 --> 00:05:32,616 we can make more with less, 100 00:05:32,649 --> 00:05:36,536 and that's L-E-S. 101 00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:38,288 I'll take it from here, Les. 102 00:05:38,321 --> 00:05:39,998 Okay. 103 00:05:43,326 --> 00:05:47,264 Now it's time to blow your minds. 104 00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:53,803 We call this the mini barn cart. 105 00:05:53,837 --> 00:05:55,805 - No one calls it that. - Okay. It's just me. 106 00:05:55,839 --> 00:05:57,390 See, I grew up on a farm, where I... 107 00:05:57,424 --> 00:05:59,401 Richard. Sorry. I get excited. 108 00:06:26,870 --> 00:06:30,098 We call this the future. 109 00:06:42,761 --> 00:06:46,773 I am fucking amazed! 110 00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:50,902 It's a corn. And the truck, you know, it's been... 111 00:06:50,936 --> 00:06:52,028 - I know. - Look how tiny it is. 112 00:06:52,062 --> 00:06:53,613 It's being tiny. Yeah. 113 00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:55,115 That's incredible. I got you. I got you. 114 00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:56,574 You did. You really did. 115 00:06:56,608 --> 00:06:58,910 You really did. It is crazy. 116 00:06:58,944 --> 00:07:00,745 Oh, amaze me again. 117 00:07:00,779 --> 00:07:02,922 Make, make it big. I, I, I wanna taste it. 118 00:07:04,282 --> 00:07:06,459 Oh, a big corn takes a big investment. 119 00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:09,546 Oh, there he is. Money Man chiming in. 120 00:07:09,579 --> 00:07:10,714 Well, go on. 121 00:07:10,747 --> 00:07:13,133 Uh, you know, uh, Flavor Saver 122 00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:15,885 was a huge step forward. 123 00:07:15,919 --> 00:07:19,389 It was the first and the best GMO tomato on the market. 124 00:07:19,422 --> 00:07:20,807 But it was a failure. 125 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:22,392 - Well... - Well... 126 00:07:22,425 --> 00:07:24,394 No, it wasn't. It was a breakthrough, 127 00:07:24,427 --> 00:07:26,396 but it tasted like old Band-Aids. 128 00:07:26,429 --> 00:07:29,532 Admit it. - No, I don't think I will. 129 00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:32,736 Admit it or I walk. 130 00:07:32,769 --> 00:07:34,496 No. 131 00:07:38,274 --> 00:07:41,911 Fuck yeah! You should never admit failure. 132 00:07:41,945 --> 00:07:44,456 I got you. I got you. Hey. - Yes, you did, Hilton. 133 00:07:44,489 --> 00:07:47,250 But this agro tech is going to change the world. 134 00:07:47,283 --> 00:07:49,085 - Gonna change the world. Jinx? - Okay. 135 00:07:49,119 --> 00:07:50,920 And just think, this is only the beginning. 136 00:07:50,954 --> 00:07:53,089 - This is only the beginning. - Sorry, who are you? 137 00:07:53,123 --> 00:07:55,258 Vivienne. Hilton's chief scientist. 138 00:07:55,291 --> 00:07:57,260 I'm the guts, I just write the checks. 139 00:07:57,293 --> 00:07:58,762 She's... - The brains. 140 00:07:58,795 --> 00:08:01,931 And my guts never make mistakes. 141 00:08:01,965 --> 00:08:05,310 I mean, I would write you a check right now, 142 00:08:05,343 --> 00:08:08,438 but for some reason, 143 00:08:08,471 --> 00:08:12,575 I'm just not feeling yummy in my tummy. 144 00:08:14,144 --> 00:08:16,363 You. - Me? 145 00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:17,781 Who are you? 146 00:08:17,814 --> 00:08:19,532 Is this a trick question? 147 00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:21,201 I don't know. Is it? 148 00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:23,161 Well, who are you? 149 00:08:23,194 --> 00:08:25,872 I'm awesome. I'm Hilton. 150 00:08:25,905 --> 00:08:27,882 Well, I'm awesome. I'm Les. 151 00:08:29,659 --> 00:08:32,011 Yeah, I'm gonna need more. 152 00:08:39,002 --> 00:08:40,804 He liked it. 153 00:08:40,837 --> 00:08:42,772 Hey, I'm gonna lose my house. 154 00:09:00,732 --> 00:09:02,117 Hey. 155 00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:03,952 Hey. 156 00:09:03,985 --> 00:09:07,789 Uh, something quietly revealed itself to me. 157 00:09:07,822 --> 00:09:11,376 - Oh, what's that? - Maria's staff pick. 158 00:09:11,409 --> 00:09:12,877 My Rainbow Starts With Black. 159 00:09:12,911 --> 00:09:15,547 It's a Pulitzer Prize-winning novel. 160 00:09:15,580 --> 00:09:20,385 By the one, the only, Lindy McMichael Littlejohn. 161 00:09:20,418 --> 00:09:22,971 That's a lifetime ago. 162 00:09:23,004 --> 00:09:25,807 Mm-mm. Eighteen years and still a fan fave? 163 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:29,736 Listen, Richie, um, we need to talk. 164 00:09:31,054 --> 00:09:34,023 - Uh-oh. No. - Yeah. 165 00:09:34,057 --> 00:09:35,817 No, we've just begun. 166 00:09:35,850 --> 00:09:36,985 - Richie. - Hold on. 167 00:09:37,018 --> 00:09:38,528 This is just the first act. 168 00:09:38,561 --> 00:09:41,156 Do not turn this into a tragedy. 169 00:09:41,189 --> 00:09:43,324 Well, tragedy is a better story. 170 00:09:43,358 --> 00:09:45,493 Oh, I wish they had, uh, 171 00:09:45,527 --> 00:09:49,038 a section on how to repair an emotional affair. 172 00:09:49,072 --> 00:09:53,001 Listen, you really saw me when I needed it the most. 173 00:09:53,034 --> 00:09:54,419 - I did. - Yeah. 174 00:09:54,452 --> 00:09:56,838 And, and you really gave me 175 00:09:56,871 --> 00:09:59,340 that emotional intimacy that I craved, 176 00:09:59,374 --> 00:10:00,842 you know. - Uh-hmm. 177 00:10:00,875 --> 00:10:03,011 You were a great shoulder, 178 00:10:03,044 --> 00:10:04,179 an ear. - Uh-hmm. 179 00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:07,182 You're so handsome, young. 180 00:10:07,215 --> 00:10:09,058 - Stop it. No, stop it. - Smart. 181 00:10:09,092 --> 00:10:11,728 And maybe in another life, but... 182 00:10:11,761 --> 00:10:13,780 But I fell in love. 183 00:10:15,390 --> 00:10:18,109 And you? - I fell in Les. 184 00:10:18,143 --> 00:10:20,612 - L-E-S. Why? - Yeah. 185 00:10:20,645 --> 00:10:22,947 Les knows the real me, 186 00:10:22,981 --> 00:10:26,701 the worst of me, and he, he still loves me. 187 00:10:26,734 --> 00:10:29,120 - I could love the worst of you. - No. 188 00:10:29,154 --> 00:10:30,580 - Yeah. - He has 20 years on you 189 00:10:30,613 --> 00:10:32,957 and you've known me, like, a few months. 190 00:10:32,991 --> 00:10:34,709 Six and a half. 191 00:10:34,742 --> 00:10:36,711 Les... 192 00:10:36,744 --> 00:10:38,546 - Wait, no, no. - ...he made a grand gesture 193 00:10:38,580 --> 00:10:42,717 and he promised me a fresh start and I believe him. 194 00:10:42,750 --> 00:10:45,937 Why? No, no, no, no, actually, don't say. 195 00:10:46,921 --> 00:10:50,058 Love should remain a mystery. 196 00:10:50,091 --> 00:10:51,726 My mom told me that. 197 00:10:51,759 --> 00:10:54,437 Okay. I'm gonna go. 198 00:10:54,470 --> 00:10:56,731 - Wait, wait, wait. This... - Oh, God. No, no. 199 00:10:56,764 --> 00:10:59,067 I got you this Christmas present. 200 00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:00,902 - Absolutely cannot accept this. - You must 201 00:11:00,935 --> 00:11:02,904 or it means our love was in vain. 202 00:11:02,937 --> 00:11:04,614 - Shh, shh, not love. - Oh, oh. Go. Okay 203 00:11:04,647 --> 00:11:06,741 Just open the card first. 204 00:11:06,774 --> 00:11:10,128 There is no need to thank me, okay? 205 00:11:25,335 --> 00:11:27,762 Merry Christmas, my love. 206 00:11:27,795 --> 00:11:30,932 In anticipation of New Year, new you, and new us, 207 00:11:30,965 --> 00:11:34,143 I thought this would be a great start. 208 00:11:34,177 --> 00:11:36,821 Open the present. I'll wait. 209 00:11:46,522 --> 00:11:48,283 I hate this rag. 210 00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:50,326 I know you hate this rag. 211 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:52,996 But I knew you'd never send it in yourself. 212 00:11:53,029 --> 00:11:56,174 Give it a quick read. See if you recognize it. 213 00:11:58,243 --> 00:11:59,877 Oh, Richie. 214 00:11:59,911 --> 00:12:01,629 No, no, no, no. What have you done? 215 00:12:01,663 --> 00:12:04,173 I pretended to be your book agent. 216 00:12:04,207 --> 00:12:08,011 Your story is gonna be in The New Yorker. 217 00:12:08,044 --> 00:12:10,680 No! I didn't write this. 218 00:12:10,713 --> 00:12:12,307 I'm fucked. 219 00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:14,392 I know it's overwhelming 220 00:12:14,425 --> 00:12:15,685 and I'm sure you know. 221 00:12:15,718 --> 00:12:18,021 Holy fuck, Richie! 222 00:12:18,054 --> 00:12:21,566 No, no, no! Oh, my fuck. 223 00:12:21,599 --> 00:12:23,318 Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit. 224 00:12:23,351 --> 00:12:24,986 Oh, bitch, pick up. Pick up. 225 00:12:25,019 --> 00:12:26,654 Hi, this is Terry. Leave a message. 226 00:12:26,688 --> 00:12:29,574 Terry, oh, fuck. Okay. 227 00:12:29,607 --> 00:12:31,701 There is a story-- 228 00:12:31,734 --> 00:12:33,828 there's a story in New Yorker with my name on it. 229 00:12:33,861 --> 00:12:36,331 And I need you to call me back. This is an emergency. 230 00:12:36,364 --> 00:12:39,000 For serious this time. Call me back. 231 00:12:39,033 --> 00:12:40,134 Fuck. 232 00:12:41,202 --> 00:12:42,503 Fuck! 233 00:12:51,087 --> 00:12:52,597 Uh-hmm? Shut the door. 234 00:12:52,630 --> 00:12:54,098 - Why? - 'Cause I want 235 00:12:54,132 --> 00:12:56,392 to raise my voice. 236 00:12:56,426 --> 00:12:58,019 Jesus jumping crackers. 237 00:12:58,052 --> 00:13:01,064 Why would you invite Hilton 238 00:13:01,097 --> 00:13:03,733 to your charity event at your home tonight? 239 00:13:03,766 --> 00:13:05,109 'Cause he wants to know who I am. 240 00:13:05,143 --> 00:13:07,278 - But Lindy will be there. - And? 241 00:13:07,312 --> 00:13:10,281 I'm sorry, am I the only one that remembers last year? 242 00:13:10,315 --> 00:13:13,201 The, the, the, silent auction, the pool incident? 243 00:13:13,234 --> 00:13:15,953 And you're still serving alcohol this year, right? 244 00:13:15,987 --> 00:13:19,132 Count me out. I'm sorry. I cannot watch. 245 00:13:21,075 --> 00:13:24,379 I don't think that my heart or my stomach 246 00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:27,090 can tolerate another interaction with him. 247 00:13:27,123 --> 00:13:28,758 But we are broke. 248 00:13:28,791 --> 00:13:30,718 And he is all we have. 249 00:13:30,752 --> 00:13:34,305 There are no more interested investors, 250 00:13:34,339 --> 00:13:36,265 Les, with Hilton's kind of cash. 251 00:13:36,299 --> 00:13:38,810 You know what? Lindy and I are fine now. 252 00:13:38,843 --> 00:13:41,729 We're good even. And we're renewing our vows. 253 00:13:41,763 --> 00:13:43,231 New year, new us. - New us. 254 00:13:43,264 --> 00:13:44,732 Yes. You said that last year. 255 00:13:44,766 --> 00:13:45,900 This year, it's gonna stick. 256 00:13:45,933 --> 00:13:47,068 You sleeping in the same bed? 257 00:13:47,101 --> 00:13:48,403 Yes. 258 00:13:48,436 --> 00:13:50,780 - Just sleeping? - Sleeping plus. 259 00:13:50,813 --> 00:13:53,408 - Big plus? - Small plus. 260 00:13:53,441 --> 00:13:55,076 I'd feel so much better if it was big. 261 00:13:55,109 --> 00:13:56,911 We're on the road to big, I promise you. 262 00:13:56,944 --> 00:13:58,129 Um, okay. 263 00:13:59,822 --> 00:14:01,249 Lindy, it's me. 264 00:14:01,282 --> 00:14:03,167 It's me calling you. Um, I'm not panicking. 265 00:14:03,201 --> 00:14:05,253 But just call me back before the party, okay? 266 00:14:05,286 --> 00:14:08,005 It's not an emergency but it's an emergency. 267 00:14:08,039 --> 00:14:10,133 Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm sorry. - Oh, so sorry, sir. 268 00:14:10,166 --> 00:14:11,968 Um, my, uh, my polyp is gone. 269 00:14:12,001 --> 00:14:14,512 Yeah, but there's a hole in my heart now. 270 00:14:14,545 --> 00:14:16,305 Sounds like a case for the Bard's Guard. 271 00:14:16,339 --> 00:14:19,142 So I'll be unable to attend your party this evening. 272 00:14:19,175 --> 00:14:21,027 Our loss. Good luck, Richard. 273 00:14:45,326 --> 00:14:47,462 You're not Jackie. - I'm Hel. 274 00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:49,630 Don't make me raise it. Who are you? 275 00:14:49,664 --> 00:14:52,008 Uh, I'm Professor Littlejohn, Jackie's professor. 276 00:14:52,041 --> 00:14:54,302 Did she leave for break already? Have I missed her? 277 00:14:54,335 --> 00:14:56,471 I hope not, 'cause I'm her fucking ride. 278 00:14:56,504 --> 00:14:59,348 - Jackie. - Professor Littlejohn. 279 00:14:59,382 --> 00:15:01,350 Yeah, Lindy. You should call me Lindy. 280 00:15:01,384 --> 00:15:03,895 Oh, uh, Hel, uh, Professor Littlejohn 281 00:15:03,928 --> 00:15:06,647 is the reason that I'm here. 282 00:15:06,681 --> 00:15:09,066 Oh, you wrote that book she loves. 283 00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:10,860 I didn't read it. No offense. 284 00:15:10,893 --> 00:15:13,654 None taken. Jackie, I'm so glad I caught you. 285 00:15:13,688 --> 00:15:15,072 Can we talk? 286 00:15:15,106 --> 00:15:17,241 Yeah. Just real quick. 287 00:15:17,275 --> 00:15:18,993 - Oh, you mean without me? - I do. 288 00:15:19,026 --> 00:15:20,495 Oh. Is it okay? 289 00:15:20,528 --> 00:15:23,080 Oh, yeah. Bit rude. No offense, but sure. 290 00:15:23,114 --> 00:15:24,540 Okay. Just have a... 291 00:15:24,574 --> 00:15:26,968 Okay. Hi. Um... 292 00:15:28,703 --> 00:15:31,088 have I done something wrong, Professor Littlejohn? 293 00:15:31,122 --> 00:15:33,174 Oh, no, no, gosh. No, no. 294 00:15:33,207 --> 00:15:36,010 I have. I have. 295 00:15:36,043 --> 00:15:38,095 I, um... 296 00:15:38,129 --> 00:15:40,440 I need to tell you something. Uh... 297 00:15:43,885 --> 00:15:46,070 I loved your short story. 298 00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:49,273 - "Untitled on Purpose"? - Uh-hmm. That's the one. 299 00:15:49,307 --> 00:15:51,609 Yeah, I loved it. It was brilliant. 300 00:15:51,642 --> 00:15:54,111 Uh, the prose was incisive. 301 00:15:54,145 --> 00:15:57,665 Oh, just the voice, fresh, distinguished, rare. 302 00:15:57,899 --> 00:16:00,910 One that deserves the attention 303 00:16:00,943 --> 00:16:02,620 of the New York literati. 304 00:16:02,653 --> 00:16:04,413 Wow. 305 00:16:04,447 --> 00:16:06,415 I mean, what--that, that means 306 00:16:06,449 --> 00:16:08,042 the world to me, Professor Littlejohn. 307 00:16:08,075 --> 00:16:09,544 It's almost-- it's almost Christmas 308 00:16:09,577 --> 00:16:11,128 and you're at my door complimenting my work. 309 00:16:11,162 --> 00:16:13,130 I--oh, my gosh, I couldn't ask for a better gift. 310 00:16:13,164 --> 00:16:15,216 Okay. Listen to me. Listen to me. 311 00:16:15,249 --> 00:16:18,603 You need to turn it into a novel right now. 312 00:16:19,670 --> 00:16:21,931 Now? Really? 313 00:16:21,964 --> 00:16:23,391 Really now. Uh-hmm. 314 00:16:23,424 --> 00:16:24,934 Um... 315 00:16:24,967 --> 00:16:27,061 I guess I could get started over the break. 316 00:16:27,094 --> 00:16:30,147 Nope. You need to take next semester off and just write. 317 00:16:30,181 --> 00:16:32,233 The whole semester? 318 00:16:32,266 --> 00:16:33,317 The whole semester. 319 00:16:33,351 --> 00:16:36,112 You just wanna isolate and write 320 00:16:36,145 --> 00:16:37,572 while it's fresh, while it's here, 321 00:16:37,605 --> 00:16:39,156 while "Untitled on Purpose" 322 00:16:39,190 --> 00:16:41,158 is coursing through you, right? 323 00:16:41,192 --> 00:16:42,660 Yes, yes, I feel it. 324 00:16:42,693 --> 00:16:44,453 Okay. So you need to isolate and write. 325 00:16:44,487 --> 00:16:46,497 Uh, no distractions, no internet, 326 00:16:46,531 --> 00:16:48,624 no novels, no magazines, 327 00:16:48,658 --> 00:16:50,585 no, uh, nothing. Right? - No, no. 328 00:16:50,618 --> 00:16:52,962 Nothing. - And just all winter long, 329 00:16:52,995 --> 00:16:54,422 uh, very A Room of One's Own. 330 00:16:54,455 --> 00:16:56,757 Woolf it. - Right. Right. Woolf it! 331 00:16:56,791 --> 00:16:58,426 - Could you do that? - Yes. 332 00:16:58,459 --> 00:17:00,136 Well, uh, well, Hel's dad, my Uncle Flip, 333 00:17:00,169 --> 00:17:03,681 he has a cabin back in Montana that's super isolated. 334 00:17:03,714 --> 00:17:05,433 - Oh. - Like Walden Pond isolated. 335 00:17:05,466 --> 00:17:06,475 - That's perfect. - Right? 336 00:17:06,509 --> 00:17:08,152 - Yes. Jackie. - Yeah? 337 00:17:09,303 --> 00:17:12,356 This has the potential to be your... 338 00:17:12,390 --> 00:17:14,650 My Rainbow Starts With Black? 339 00:17:14,684 --> 00:17:18,154 No, Professor Littlejohn, it, it couldn't. 340 00:17:18,187 --> 00:17:20,781 You know, I... - Jackie. I should know. 341 00:17:20,815 --> 00:17:24,201 My goal in life is to just write 342 00:17:24,235 --> 00:17:27,288 one, one great novel like you. 343 00:17:27,321 --> 00:17:30,124 That's... - Okay. So we're great? 344 00:17:30,157 --> 00:17:31,876 You're gonna isolate and write? - Yes. 345 00:17:31,909 --> 00:17:33,544 - All semester? - All semester. 346 00:17:33,578 --> 00:17:35,546 - You're going to Montana? - Yes, Professor Littlejohn! 347 00:17:35,580 --> 00:17:37,298 - Remember, no magazines, right? - No. 348 00:17:37,331 --> 00:17:38,841 - No? You don't want any? - Uh-uh. 349 00:17:38,874 --> 00:17:41,469 Just turn off the internet. Okay? 350 00:17:41,502 --> 00:17:44,472 - I will unplug completely. - Yes! 351 00:17:44,505 --> 00:17:46,307 Okay. Hey, Merry Christmas. 352 00:17:46,340 --> 00:17:49,193 Merry Christmas to you too! 353 00:17:53,014 --> 00:17:55,650 Okay. Let's--oh. 354 00:17:55,683 --> 00:17:58,452 My notes right here. 355 00:18:00,771 --> 00:18:02,290 Ooh. 356 00:18:11,115 --> 00:18:14,001 Oh, fuck. Oh! 357 00:18:14,035 --> 00:18:16,504 Terry! Thank Christ. Okay. Listen, I... 358 00:18:16,537 --> 00:18:18,506 Lindy, you have 10 minutes. 359 00:18:18,539 --> 00:18:20,341 Blindsiding me with one short story 360 00:18:20,374 --> 00:18:22,009 published in The New Yorker over the last two decades 361 00:18:22,043 --> 00:18:23,678 gets you one. 362 00:18:23,711 --> 00:18:25,179 The fact that we've been friends for more than 20 years 363 00:18:25,212 --> 00:18:26,397 gets you another. 364 00:18:26,564 --> 00:18:28,516 And the other eight belong to Gillian Flynn, 365 00:18:28,549 --> 00:18:30,267 who continues to publish bestsellers, 366 00:18:30,301 --> 00:18:33,354 which bought me a Classic Six off the Park. 367 00:18:33,387 --> 00:18:36,282 I didn't write the story. It's my student's work. 368 00:18:38,726 --> 00:18:42,530 My ex-emotional-lover, long story, 369 00:18:42,563 --> 00:18:43,906 found the fucking story 370 00:18:43,939 --> 00:18:45,408 in my bag and thought it was mine. 371 00:18:45,441 --> 00:18:48,244 And I--why would I correct him, you know? 372 00:18:48,277 --> 00:18:49,837 He sent it in 373 00:18:50,705 --> 00:18:52,873 without my knowledge, on my behalf, 374 00:18:52,907 --> 00:18:55,543 because he, long story, adored me 375 00:18:55,576 --> 00:18:57,712 and thought I was capable of writing something great again. 376 00:18:57,745 --> 00:18:58,796 What the fuck... 377 00:18:58,829 --> 00:19:00,464 I'm taking a Sabbatical from WashU. 378 00:19:00,498 --> 00:19:01,716 I'm headed to the gray house. 379 00:19:01,749 --> 00:19:03,884 Les and I are gonna renew our vows. 380 00:19:03,918 --> 00:19:06,053 Long story, you're invited. 381 00:19:06,087 --> 00:19:07,388 I know you hate him. 382 00:19:07,421 --> 00:19:10,099 I did too. But he is a good dad. 383 00:19:10,132 --> 00:19:13,561 And I'm committed to committing to my marriage. 384 00:19:13,594 --> 00:19:16,230 So I cannot handle 385 00:19:16,263 --> 00:19:19,316 this shit storm right now, which is sure, 386 00:19:19,350 --> 00:19:21,819 by the way, to tarnish your reputation as well. 387 00:19:21,852 --> 00:19:24,238 So if you wanna keep that Classic Six, 388 00:19:24,271 --> 00:19:26,907 then can you please, please 389 00:19:26,941 --> 00:19:29,910 fix this fucking mess so I can focus on my vows 390 00:19:29,944 --> 00:19:31,629 and my marriage like I promised? 391 00:19:32,822 --> 00:19:34,999 I hate you. I know. 392 00:19:35,032 --> 00:19:36,834 I hate me too. 393 00:19:36,867 --> 00:19:38,419 Thank you. 394 00:19:38,452 --> 00:19:40,513 No, no, no. You're not allowed to thank me. 395 00:19:45,668 --> 00:19:47,344 Oliver! 396 00:20:05,855 --> 00:20:07,865 Les has been calling, I've been texting. 397 00:20:07,898 --> 00:20:09,658 And I have been busy. 398 00:20:09,692 --> 00:20:12,203 Les needs you on best behavior tonight. 399 00:20:12,236 --> 00:20:13,954 Hilton Smith is attending. 400 00:20:13,988 --> 00:20:16,290 Condescending as always, Starla. 401 00:20:16,323 --> 00:20:18,501 And who? Necessary. 402 00:20:18,534 --> 00:20:21,212 And he is a big investor. - You know, I thought 403 00:20:21,245 --> 00:20:22,797 the cover was on the pool last year, right? 404 00:20:22,830 --> 00:20:24,381 You know that. - Great. 405 00:20:24,415 --> 00:20:25,633 You already picked up the first framed tomato. 406 00:20:25,666 --> 00:20:27,176 I did. Yup. 407 00:20:27,209 --> 00:20:28,686 - Uh, it's locked. - I know. 408 00:20:30,004 --> 00:20:31,972 - Is this another party protest? - No. 409 00:20:32,006 --> 00:20:33,349 Hilton is here in five. 410 00:20:33,382 --> 00:20:34,809 Starla. Your dress is upstairs. 411 00:20:34,842 --> 00:20:37,394 I need you inside now. - What? What dress? 412 00:20:37,428 --> 00:20:39,021 Les had me assess your wardrobe situation 413 00:20:39,054 --> 00:20:40,523 and, and we both agreed that the only option 414 00:20:40,556 --> 00:20:41,816 was to outsource an upgrade. 415 00:20:41,849 --> 00:20:44,527 Insulting. 416 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:45,653 And what if I hate it? 417 00:20:45,686 --> 00:20:48,155 Your futures are on the line. 418 00:20:48,189 --> 00:20:49,657 He said to me, quote, 419 00:20:49,690 --> 00:20:53,536 "No new year, new us without new money," unquote. 420 00:20:53,569 --> 00:20:55,579 So please just move. 421 00:20:55,613 --> 00:20:57,081 Get out of the car. 422 00:20:57,114 --> 00:20:59,041 Now! 423 00:20:59,074 --> 00:21:00,501 Bye-bye, Starla. 424 00:21:00,534 --> 00:21:04,672 I will have the valet physically remove you. 425 00:21:04,705 --> 00:21:06,557 I need a minute! 426 00:21:07,917 --> 00:21:09,393 One minute! 427 00:21:11,545 --> 00:21:14,607 I need Hulk out front, stat. 428 00:21:42,493 --> 00:21:44,962 Come on. Tell me what Les is working on. 429 00:21:44,995 --> 00:21:47,965 This is the cover of Scientific American. 430 00:21:47,998 --> 00:21:50,050 Okay, he tells me nothing, Nils. 431 00:21:50,084 --> 00:21:52,219 Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm. And you never ask? 432 00:21:52,253 --> 00:21:53,554 Bullshit, Lindy. 433 00:21:53,587 --> 00:21:54,972 I have printed that same quote from you 434 00:21:55,005 --> 00:21:56,473 10 times over the years. 435 00:21:56,507 --> 00:21:58,726 All I'll say is, first rule of Fight Club. 436 00:21:58,759 --> 00:22:01,604 Lame and outdated. 437 00:22:01,637 --> 00:22:03,989 Just like Scientific American. 438 00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:15,960 Vodka, dry. 439 00:22:23,659 --> 00:22:24,718 Oh, thank you. 440 00:22:33,127 --> 00:22:34,186 Big Red has landed. 441 00:22:35,796 --> 00:22:36,972 Where's Lindy? 442 00:22:37,006 --> 00:22:38,641 I need eyes on Lady Tomato. 443 00:22:38,674 --> 00:22:40,601 - Hilton? - Give me a 20 on Deep Pockets. 444 00:22:40,634 --> 00:22:42,102 man: Roger. None at the second. 445 00:22:42,136 --> 00:22:43,270 Double negative. 446 00:22:43,304 --> 00:22:44,980 Big Red is not happy. 447 00:22:45,014 --> 00:22:47,942 I know amazing style when I see it. 448 00:22:47,975 --> 00:22:50,444 Oh, this is a facade. 449 00:22:50,477 --> 00:22:52,947 Oh, well, the facade is working. 450 00:22:52,980 --> 00:22:55,950 Hmm. I'm teetering on the precipice 451 00:22:55,983 --> 00:22:57,501 of being outed as a fraud. 452 00:22:58,819 --> 00:23:00,955 Which I probably deserve. 453 00:23:00,988 --> 00:23:05,042 I'm supposed to be the supportive wife 454 00:23:05,075 --> 00:23:07,670 but, uh, my career going up in flames 455 00:23:07,703 --> 00:23:09,129 is bangin' around my brain. 456 00:23:09,163 --> 00:23:11,215 It's all I can hear. 457 00:23:11,248 --> 00:23:13,634 What does your husband think about that? 458 00:23:13,667 --> 00:23:16,804 Oh, he has no clue. He's a fraud too. 459 00:23:16,837 --> 00:23:18,138 Is that so? 460 00:23:18,172 --> 00:23:19,139 Uh-hmm. 461 00:23:20,424 --> 00:23:22,851 Welcome, everyone. 462 00:23:22,885 --> 00:23:26,730 Uh, every year, um, I say I'm gonna keep it short 463 00:23:26,764 --> 00:23:28,482 and that this night is not about me, 464 00:23:28,515 --> 00:23:30,734 it's about the children. 465 00:23:30,768 --> 00:23:32,987 And tonight, I'm actually gonna keep that promise 466 00:23:33,020 --> 00:23:37,074 but, you know, let's be honest, um, it has to be about me first 467 00:23:37,107 --> 00:23:39,410 because you're all here to bid on my stuff. 468 00:23:40,527 --> 00:23:42,329 Well, he's just 469 00:23:42,363 --> 00:23:47,001 playing the role of a charitable philanthropist. 470 00:23:47,034 --> 00:23:51,171 But all he really cares about is his life's work first, 471 00:23:51,205 --> 00:23:52,840 himself second, our daughter third, 472 00:23:52,873 --> 00:23:55,843 me last, which I probably deserve. 473 00:23:55,876 --> 00:23:57,177 Well, just curious. 474 00:23:57,211 --> 00:24:00,347 What do you think about his life's work? 475 00:24:00,381 --> 00:24:04,518 And a very personal little ditty about Jack and Diane, 476 00:24:04,551 --> 00:24:07,855 my John Cougar Mellencamp Velcro wallet 477 00:24:07,888 --> 00:24:11,567 with my high school ID still inside. Huh? 478 00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:13,402 Where else you gonna get one of those? 479 00:24:13,435 --> 00:24:17,114 I can't tell you that. 480 00:24:17,147 --> 00:24:18,574 It's so top secret actually, 481 00:24:18,607 --> 00:24:21,035 - I have no idea what it is. - Oh. 482 00:24:21,068 --> 00:24:23,245 Hold on a second. My, my top elf is really trying 483 00:24:23,278 --> 00:24:24,872 to tell me something. 484 00:24:24,905 --> 00:24:26,582 Lady Tomato on the veranda with Deep Pockets, 485 00:24:26,615 --> 00:24:28,125 two drinks in, third on deck. 486 00:24:28,158 --> 00:24:30,711 You're fucking joking or you're fucking fired. 487 00:24:30,744 --> 00:24:32,346 I'll turn in my headset. 488 00:24:34,415 --> 00:24:37,217 But I can tell you, 489 00:24:37,251 --> 00:24:40,220 he's brilliant. 490 00:24:40,254 --> 00:24:41,647 Don't tell him I said that. 491 00:24:42,631 --> 00:24:44,433 Yeah. I mean, I'm already last. 492 00:24:44,466 --> 00:24:45,893 You know, what's after last? 493 00:24:48,012 --> 00:24:49,897 Not much. 494 00:24:49,930 --> 00:24:53,317 So yeah, merry Christmas and happy holidays, 495 00:24:53,350 --> 00:24:56,737 and, uh, hopefully that covers it all. Okay. 496 00:24:58,856 --> 00:25:00,491 - Les, five minutes. - No. 497 00:25:00,524 --> 00:25:01,784 - Two. - One. Later, maybe. 498 00:25:01,817 --> 00:25:03,410 Done. Oh, everybody was up. 499 00:25:03,444 --> 00:25:05,120 Hey, Lindy, stop, stop. You're right--no, no. 500 00:25:05,154 --> 00:25:06,246 - Stop. - I'm just explaining 501 00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:07,748 to this gentleman why there's no 502 00:25:07,781 --> 00:25:09,917 outdoor access this holiday season. 503 00:25:09,950 --> 00:25:13,087 So as a joke, last year, I put into the silent auction, 504 00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:17,758 as a joke, "watch almighty Les walk on water." 505 00:25:17,791 --> 00:25:19,510 I thought the cover was on the pool. 506 00:25:19,543 --> 00:25:20,803 - Oh. - It was not. You got it? 507 00:25:20,836 --> 00:25:22,179 Oh, yeah. - I'm so sorry. 508 00:25:22,212 --> 00:25:23,597 You get it. - Hilton, I'm so sorry. 509 00:25:23,630 --> 00:25:25,140 I just wanna say I'm so sorry. 510 00:25:25,174 --> 00:25:26,433 - Hilton? - Oh, I'd pay right now 511 00:25:26,467 --> 00:25:29,186 to see that, Awesome Les. 512 00:25:29,219 --> 00:25:30,938 If you can walk on water, 513 00:25:30,971 --> 00:25:32,606 you got my money. 514 00:25:32,639 --> 00:25:33,824 Are you being serious? 515 00:25:34,024 --> 00:25:36,276 - No. - No. Oh, oh, great. 516 00:25:36,310 --> 00:25:37,945 So I can still get the money? 517 00:25:37,978 --> 00:25:41,156 After the conversation with your wife, 518 00:25:41,190 --> 00:25:42,491 uh... 519 00:25:42,524 --> 00:25:44,660 - ...I don't know. - Hi, Hilton. 520 00:25:44,693 --> 00:25:45,953 I didn't know, like... - Okay, Lindy. 521 00:25:45,986 --> 00:25:47,621 Why don't you just not say anything 522 00:25:47,654 --> 00:25:49,715 and maybe go and get us a lot of drinks? 523 00:25:51,075 --> 00:25:52,292 Okay. So, um, Hilton, 524 00:25:52,326 --> 00:25:53,627 I don't know what she said exactly... 525 00:25:53,660 --> 00:25:56,213 Well, she said that you put work first, 526 00:25:56,246 --> 00:25:58,340 family third, and her dead last. 527 00:25:58,373 --> 00:25:59,633 That's out of context. 528 00:25:59,666 --> 00:26:01,051 What kind of man are you? 529 00:26:01,085 --> 00:26:03,137 I know. I just--I, I can explain. 530 00:26:03,170 --> 00:26:06,974 - I can explain. - Oh, my God. 531 00:26:07,007 --> 00:26:09,184 Never explain, anything. 532 00:26:09,218 --> 00:26:12,146 - I got you, again. - Oh, yeah. [laughs] Again. 533 00:26:12,179 --> 00:26:13,814 You suck at this. 534 00:26:13,847 --> 00:26:15,357 I do. I do. I do. 535 00:26:15,390 --> 00:26:17,317 So just to be clear, Lindy didn't tank the deal? 536 00:26:17,351 --> 00:26:18,485 She closed it. 537 00:26:18,519 --> 00:26:19,745 Now she's awesome. 538 00:26:20,896 --> 00:26:23,073 Workaholics, they change the world. 539 00:26:23,107 --> 00:26:26,076 I'm a workaholic. I should know. - Thank you. 540 00:26:26,110 --> 00:26:27,244 Oh, thank you so much. - Okay. Okay. Okay. 541 00:26:27,277 --> 00:26:28,328 Thank you so much. 542 00:26:28,362 --> 00:26:29,580 I wanna go to work right away, 543 00:26:29,613 --> 00:26:31,039 like fuck the holidays. - Yeah, 544 00:26:31,073 --> 00:26:32,666 I put it on my Christmas card every year. 545 00:26:32,699 --> 00:26:34,042 Yeah, you really see me. 546 00:26:34,076 --> 00:26:36,086 - We both do. - Oh, it's you again. 547 00:26:36,120 --> 00:26:37,588 Hilton's chief scientist. 548 00:26:37,621 --> 00:26:39,339 Oh, the brains. 549 00:26:39,373 --> 00:26:40,507 And the boots. The boots? 550 00:26:40,541 --> 00:26:42,092 The boots on the ground. 551 00:26:42,126 --> 00:26:43,093 What do the boots do? 552 00:26:43,127 --> 00:26:44,845 The boots ensure 553 00:26:44,878 --> 00:26:46,396 that my guts are never wrong. 554 00:26:47,798 --> 00:26:49,892 The boots are a part of the deal. 555 00:26:49,925 --> 00:26:53,187 I'm all in. Are you, Awesome Les? 556 00:26:59,852 --> 00:27:01,403 Fine. Just, just tell me. 557 00:27:01,436 --> 00:27:03,405 I'm melting down. 558 00:27:03,438 --> 00:27:04,573 Because I fucked the deal? 559 00:27:04,606 --> 00:27:06,241 No, I closed the deal. 560 00:27:06,275 --> 00:27:08,243 I closed the deal. - Fantastic! 561 00:27:08,277 --> 00:27:09,286 - No! - What do you mean no? 562 00:27:09,319 --> 00:27:10,913 - It's... - That's so great! 563 00:27:10,946 --> 00:27:13,290 Oh, my God. I was so worried. - No, Lindy. No. No. 564 00:27:13,323 --> 00:27:14,917 I mean, I... - Now, I am saddled 565 00:27:14,950 --> 00:27:17,294 with one of Hilton's network of bio spies. 566 00:27:17,327 --> 00:27:19,755 His chief scientist is gonna come in 567 00:27:19,788 --> 00:27:21,423 and she's gonna take credit for my work, 568 00:27:21,456 --> 00:27:23,634 and all of this will have been for nothing. 569 00:27:23,667 --> 00:27:26,678 I will be nothing. My legacy will be nothing. 570 00:27:26,712 --> 00:27:28,847 I shall go to the grave without a Nobel. 571 00:27:28,881 --> 00:27:32,935 You know, this was my last chance at greatness. 572 00:27:32,968 --> 00:27:34,937 Gone. 573 00:27:34,970 --> 00:27:37,356 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 574 00:27:39,308 --> 00:27:45,197 Hey, come on. You remember Joan Ryan, huh? 575 00:27:45,230 --> 00:27:48,534 - Yeah, my nemesis at MIT. - That's right. 576 00:27:48,567 --> 00:27:50,327 You were convinced 577 00:27:50,360 --> 00:27:53,789 that the PhD board was gonna pick her over you 578 00:27:53,822 --> 00:27:55,457 and you were gonna be relegated 579 00:27:55,490 --> 00:27:57,501 to just a footnote in the science community 580 00:27:57,534 --> 00:27:58,877 or some other science bad thing, right? 581 00:27:58,911 --> 00:28:03,173 But what actually happened, Les? 582 00:28:03,207 --> 00:28:04,266 They chose me. 583 00:28:05,375 --> 00:28:06,435 They chose you. 584 00:28:07,419 --> 00:28:09,137 And where's Joan Ryan? 585 00:28:09,171 --> 00:28:11,523 Teaching at Berkeley. 586 00:28:12,758 --> 00:28:14,518 And where are you? 587 00:28:14,551 --> 00:28:16,311 - In St. Louis. - But why? 588 00:28:16,345 --> 00:28:18,814 Oh, uh... 589 00:28:18,847 --> 00:28:21,984 to give the finger to those ungrateful pricks at Monsanto, 590 00:28:22,017 --> 00:28:24,486 and to build the Menlo Park of the Midwest. 591 00:28:24,519 --> 00:28:26,822 - And how? - How? Because I am-- 592 00:28:26,855 --> 00:28:28,490 I am a partner in my own company, 593 00:28:28,523 --> 00:28:30,867 creating the bioagro tech that will change the world. 594 00:28:30,901 --> 00:28:31,994 That's right. Yeah. 595 00:28:32,027 --> 00:28:33,045 You're gonna change the world. 596 00:28:35,364 --> 00:28:36,423 And you are. 597 00:28:37,366 --> 00:28:39,209 I've always believed that. 598 00:28:39,243 --> 00:28:41,003 Even when you hated me? 599 00:28:41,036 --> 00:28:42,054 Oh. 600 00:28:43,622 --> 00:28:46,091 Especially when I hated you. 601 00:28:46,124 --> 00:28:48,093 So what do I do? 602 00:28:48,126 --> 00:28:50,679 You do what you always do. 603 00:28:50,712 --> 00:28:55,350 You get back in the workshop and you figure it out. 604 00:28:55,384 --> 00:28:58,270 That's what Les Littlejohn does. Yeah. 605 00:28:58,303 --> 00:29:01,064 - Right? - Yeah. Right. 606 00:29:01,098 --> 00:29:02,858 Right? - Oh. 607 00:29:02,891 --> 00:29:03,909 Okay. 608 00:29:04,935 --> 00:29:06,403 That's it. 609 00:29:06,436 --> 00:29:08,280 That's it. Thank you, Lindy. 610 00:29:08,313 --> 00:29:11,199 Thank you for being so understanding. 611 00:29:11,233 --> 00:29:13,785 Oh, God. 612 00:29:13,819 --> 00:29:16,038 So now, I gotta get back in the workshop 613 00:29:16,071 --> 00:29:19,374 and let's move our-- renewing our vows to next year. 614 00:29:19,408 --> 00:29:20,709 That's a fantastic idea. 615 00:29:20,742 --> 00:29:22,127 Les, no, I didn't--what? 616 00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:23,762 Huh? That's what you said, right? 617 00:29:24,579 --> 00:29:26,882 Huh? - Did I? 618 00:29:26,915 --> 00:29:28,467 - Yeah. - Gary and Meg. 619 00:29:28,500 --> 00:29:30,260 Oh, Gary and Meg would much prefer to go to Cabo. 620 00:29:30,294 --> 00:29:31,303 Let's send them something. 621 00:29:31,336 --> 00:29:32,929 - Sign my name. - No, no, no, 622 00:29:32,963 --> 00:29:34,806 that'll be so humiliating to me. - Oh, don't worry. Don't worry. 623 00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:36,141 I'll tell Lulu that she can just go 624 00:29:36,174 --> 00:29:37,601 skiing with her friends like she wanted. 625 00:29:37,634 --> 00:29:38,602 So I'll see you when I see you. 626 00:29:38,635 --> 00:29:39,728 I'll be back when I'm back. 627 00:29:39,761 --> 00:29:41,438 And, um, I love you 628 00:29:41,471 --> 00:29:45,117 and I can't wait for new year, new us next year. Mwah! 629 00:29:51,606 --> 00:29:52,741 Motherfucker! 630 00:29:54,109 --> 00:29:58,171 Is he fucking kidding me?! 631 00:30:00,615 --> 00:30:01,675 I'm... 632 00:30:15,839 --> 00:30:16,973 Lindy? 633 00:30:17,007 --> 00:30:20,068 Um, Richie. Um... 634 00:30:21,136 --> 00:30:22,187 I made a mistake 635 00:30:22,220 --> 00:30:25,607 and I'm, I'm leaving Les tonight. 636 00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:27,109 I hear the emotion in your voice 637 00:30:27,142 --> 00:30:28,610 and it's beautiful. 638 00:30:28,643 --> 00:30:30,278 I've been hoping for a Christmas miracle. 639 00:30:30,312 --> 00:30:32,114 Yeah, I'm gonna go to Vermont. 640 00:30:32,147 --> 00:30:33,281 I'm gonna go to the gray house. 641 00:30:33,315 --> 00:30:35,033 And I, um-- 642 00:30:35,067 --> 00:30:36,827 could you--could you come with me? 643 00:30:36,860 --> 00:30:39,496 Where you finished your masterpiece. 644 00:30:39,529 --> 00:30:41,998 I'd be honored to be invited. A gift beyond measure. 645 00:30:42,032 --> 00:30:43,375 Uh, I have 10 vacation days 646 00:30:43,408 --> 00:30:44,626 and one personal day banked... 647 00:30:44,659 --> 00:30:46,503 Um... ...and, uh--oh. 648 00:30:46,536 --> 00:30:48,463 Heart emoji. 649 00:30:48,497 --> 00:30:51,174 Uh, let--let's meet at Mandy's Diner at midnight. 650 00:30:51,208 --> 00:30:52,801 Heart emoji back. 651 00:30:52,834 --> 00:30:54,970 I'll arrive with joy in my step 652 00:30:55,003 --> 00:30:56,513 and a light in my heart. 653 00:30:56,546 --> 00:30:57,806 Did you love my present? 654 00:30:57,839 --> 00:30:59,558 The fuck! Pardon? 655 00:30:59,591 --> 00:31:01,351 Yeah, I... 656 00:31:01,385 --> 00:31:05,147 I didn't have the heart to open it, 657 00:31:05,180 --> 00:31:08,150 so, um, I'll just bring it with me, okay? 658 00:31:08,183 --> 00:31:10,861 New year, new you, new us. 659 00:31:10,894 --> 00:31:12,320 Oh, is Vermont cold? I get... 660 00:31:35,043 --> 00:31:38,480 Everybody out in 30 minutes or Hulk is gonna see me smash. 661 00:31:41,049 --> 00:31:43,894 Iceberg ahead 30 clicks. Abandon ship. 662 00:31:43,927 --> 00:31:45,270 Lady Tomato about to burst. 663 00:31:45,303 --> 00:31:47,189 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 664 00:31:47,222 --> 00:31:49,074 Les promised me a minute. 665 00:31:51,268 --> 00:31:52,619 I'll give you 20. 666 00:32:11,329 --> 00:32:12,347 Excuse me? 667 00:32:13,148 --> 00:32:16,927 I thought the boots up my ass might start after the holidays. 668 00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:19,012 Martin signed the LOI ASAP 669 00:32:19,045 --> 00:32:21,431 and Hilton turned on the money hose in good faith. 670 00:32:21,465 --> 00:32:23,475 I didn't sign. I'm a partner. 671 00:32:23,508 --> 00:32:26,102 Apparently not the important one. 672 00:32:26,136 --> 00:32:31,817 Oh. Well, now I'm inspired and I would like you to leave. 673 00:32:31,850 --> 00:32:34,110 A genius needs his space. 674 00:32:34,144 --> 00:32:35,612 Exactly. 675 00:32:35,645 --> 00:32:38,698 And I plan on being inspired throughout the holidays. 676 00:32:38,732 --> 00:32:41,618 I know this is a difficult transition period. 677 00:32:41,651 --> 00:32:43,703 I'll give you tonight. 678 00:32:43,737 --> 00:32:45,172 But I will be back tomorrow. 679 00:32:47,157 --> 00:32:50,093 Boots on the ground, Dr. Littlejohn. 680 00:32:53,205 --> 00:32:55,265 Fuck me. 681 00:33:32,410 --> 00:33:34,387 Nils, I don't have time. 682 00:33:37,374 --> 00:33:38,725 She what? 683 00:34:01,398 --> 00:34:03,917 You're old. Text me. 684 00:34:08,405 --> 00:34:10,006 Fuck you too. 685 00:34:13,410 --> 00:34:14,678 Starla? 686 00:34:23,295 --> 00:34:25,055 Les. 687 00:34:25,088 --> 00:34:27,766 Freezer is off limits from now on, until I say. 688 00:34:27,799 --> 00:34:30,936 We need to regroup. Where are you going? 689 00:34:30,969 --> 00:34:32,562 I'm leaving you. 690 00:34:32,596 --> 00:34:33,939 Pfft. If anyone should be leaving anyone, 691 00:34:33,972 --> 00:34:36,399 I should be leaving you. - How's that? 692 00:34:36,433 --> 00:34:37,901 For trying to sabotage my career. 693 00:34:37,934 --> 00:34:39,235 Think I don't know, huh? 694 00:34:39,269 --> 00:34:40,403 You don't think Nils would call me 695 00:34:40,437 --> 00:34:41,988 for comment, Lindy. 696 00:34:42,022 --> 00:34:44,449 It's Scientific American, not TMZ. 697 00:34:44,482 --> 00:34:46,159 I'm a hoax, am I? 698 00:34:46,192 --> 00:34:47,953 And threatened by a female scientist 699 00:34:47,986 --> 00:34:49,120 taking credit for my work? 700 00:34:49,154 --> 00:34:51,164 You mentioned Joan? 701 00:34:51,197 --> 00:34:52,916 I'm not a misogynist. 702 00:34:52,949 --> 00:34:55,168 I'm not--I'm not intentionally. - Oh? 703 00:34:55,201 --> 00:34:56,461 If anything, I'm an accidental misogynist 704 00:34:56,494 --> 00:34:58,004 and I too blame the patriarchy for that. 705 00:34:58,038 --> 00:35:00,090 I never said misogynist. 706 00:35:00,123 --> 00:35:01,925 Why would you do this? Why? 707 00:35:01,958 --> 00:35:04,177 You know why. 708 00:35:04,210 --> 00:35:06,346 Is it about Gary and Meg? 709 00:35:06,379 --> 00:35:09,808 This is about you and our marriage, 710 00:35:09,841 --> 00:35:13,687 and breaking the promise of step three: a grand gesture. 711 00:35:13,720 --> 00:35:15,647 And our daughter who hates me. 712 00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:19,442 Sucking the life out of me and my promising writing career. 713 00:35:19,476 --> 00:35:21,528 Career? Stop! 714 00:35:21,561 --> 00:35:24,447 It was one book in the early aughts. 715 00:35:24,481 --> 00:35:26,199 This is what you did. You basically... 716 00:35:26,232 --> 00:35:28,952 you turned in a book report on your fucked-up family... 717 00:35:28,985 --> 00:35:30,286 Oh. ...you changed the names, 718 00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:32,038 you added a little bit of wry sarcasm, 719 00:35:32,072 --> 00:35:33,289 and then you called it fiction, 720 00:35:33,323 --> 00:35:34,791 and you got lucky. 721 00:35:34,824 --> 00:35:36,793 Look... - My Rainbow Starts With Black. 722 00:35:36,826 --> 00:35:39,713 No shit. - My book report 723 00:35:39,746 --> 00:35:41,006 and the subsequent 724 00:35:41,039 --> 00:35:43,466 Oscar-nominated film it's based on, 725 00:35:43,500 --> 00:35:48,388 bought and paid for this extravagantly sad McMansion 726 00:35:48,421 --> 00:35:53,059 in this Podunk red-state town you forced us to move to 727 00:35:53,093 --> 00:35:55,228 so that you could try to be something other than 728 00:35:55,261 --> 00:35:57,981 Mr. Fucking Tomato Head. 729 00:35:58,014 --> 00:35:59,315 This is the last thing I need right now. 730 00:35:59,349 --> 00:36:00,358 - Oh, my... - Yes. 731 00:36:00,392 --> 00:36:01,901 I'm so sorry. 732 00:36:01,935 --> 00:36:03,486 What is it you need right now? 733 00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:05,155 - I need you. Yeah. - Uh-huh. 734 00:36:05,188 --> 00:36:08,199 I need your support. This is my last chance. 735 00:36:08,233 --> 00:36:11,369 You already got your prize. 736 00:36:11,403 --> 00:36:13,204 And in case you forgot, 737 00:36:13,238 --> 00:36:17,042 I was by your side for every fucking sentence. 738 00:36:17,075 --> 00:36:19,753 Every book signing, every interview. 739 00:36:19,786 --> 00:36:22,172 I held your purse, I held my tongue. 740 00:36:22,205 --> 00:36:23,715 You know, I was there for the ride. 741 00:36:23,748 --> 00:36:25,425 And it wasn't always pleasant. 742 00:36:25,458 --> 00:36:28,094 You know, the rollercoaster of insecurity and emotion, 743 00:36:28,128 --> 00:36:30,096 is frankly fucking exhausting. 744 00:36:30,130 --> 00:36:32,515 I have paid that debt! 745 00:36:32,549 --> 00:36:35,226 I have been by your side for 15 years! 746 00:36:35,260 --> 00:36:41,858 You had Flavor Saver and it was insufferable. 747 00:36:41,891 --> 00:36:44,778 Still is. - But I didn't get my moment 748 00:36:44,811 --> 00:36:46,529 in the spotlight like you did. 749 00:36:46,563 --> 00:36:47,697 I didn't get 750 00:36:47,731 --> 00:36:49,074 my prize. 751 00:36:49,107 --> 00:36:50,116 Swing and a miss. 752 00:36:50,150 --> 00:36:52,577 How is it my fault? 753 00:36:52,610 --> 00:36:54,079 How? 754 00:36:54,112 --> 00:36:55,205 My apologies. 755 00:36:55,238 --> 00:36:56,748 Forgive me for being ambitious. 756 00:36:56,781 --> 00:36:58,583 Um, coasting by 757 00:36:58,616 --> 00:37:01,127 on a one-hit wonder isn't enough for me. 758 00:37:01,161 --> 00:37:03,463 Maybe you don't have another hit in you. Huh? 759 00:37:03,496 --> 00:37:05,381 Maybe you're one and done. 760 00:37:05,415 --> 00:37:07,926 Maybe your ego just won't let you read the room. 761 00:37:07,959 --> 00:37:10,053 I would rather be blinded by my ego 762 00:37:10,086 --> 00:37:12,055 than paralyzed by fear. That's me? 763 00:37:12,088 --> 00:37:13,223 That's what you think of me? Yeah. 764 00:37:13,256 --> 00:37:14,224 Because you haven't produced 765 00:37:14,257 --> 00:37:16,101 one goddamn sentence 766 00:37:16,134 --> 00:37:17,727 in 15 years. 767 00:37:17,761 --> 00:37:19,229 What kind of magic do you think you're suddenly gonna find 768 00:37:19,262 --> 00:37:20,447 in your beloved gray house, huh? 769 00:37:20,647 --> 00:37:21,898 With me by your side, 770 00:37:21,931 --> 00:37:24,150 like an emotional support animal, 771 00:37:24,184 --> 00:37:26,444 encouraging you, keeping you calm, 772 00:37:26,478 --> 00:37:29,906 because, quote, "I promised we'd return there one day," unquote. 773 00:37:29,939 --> 00:37:34,327 I mean, I am through being held emotionally hostage 774 00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:36,663 for your creative paralysis. 775 00:37:36,696 --> 00:37:39,165 And there it is, everyone. 776 00:37:39,199 --> 00:37:41,167 That's our show. 777 00:37:41,201 --> 00:37:44,304 Same line every time. 778 00:37:48,666 --> 00:37:52,846 This is the top-secret thing 779 00:37:52,879 --> 00:37:55,014 you've been working on? - Give me that. Give me-- 780 00:37:55,048 --> 00:37:56,808 uh, no, no, no, no, no. - A Tonka truck 781 00:37:56,841 --> 00:37:58,309 is not gonna change the world, 782 00:37:58,343 --> 00:38:00,770 let alone "agriculture as we know it." 783 00:38:00,804 --> 00:38:02,355 You have no idea what you're talking about. 784 00:38:02,388 --> 00:38:04,107 Jesus. This is what you said to every female scientist 785 00:38:04,140 --> 00:38:05,692 that's ever had a better idea. 786 00:38:05,725 --> 00:38:09,279 You know, most men overcompensate with a big truck, 787 00:38:09,312 --> 00:38:11,656 It's nice to see yours to scale. 788 00:38:13,066 --> 00:38:15,210 Oh. 789 00:38:17,195 --> 00:38:19,455 Jeez. What a gentleman. 790 00:38:19,489 --> 00:38:20,507 Oh, fuck. 791 00:38:21,825 --> 00:38:23,626 - What? - Oh, no, Lindy. 792 00:38:23,660 --> 00:38:24,886 What's...? 793 00:38:26,162 --> 00:38:27,463 What'd you do? 794 00:38:30,416 --> 00:38:31,893 What is happening to me? 795 00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:38,558 Oh, oh, oh. 796 00:38:41,427 --> 00:38:43,238 Lindy, hey. 797 00:38:44,180 --> 00:38:45,865 Oh, God. Is she dead? Oh. 798 00:38:51,020 --> 00:38:52,038 Lindy. 799 00:38:53,606 --> 00:38:54,699 Say something. 800 00:38:54,732 --> 00:38:56,159 Are you alive? 801 00:38:56,192 --> 00:38:57,243 {\an8}Oh. 802 00:38:57,277 --> 00:38:58,661 {\an8}Oh, you're alive! 803 00:39:01,531 --> 00:39:04,375 {\an8}Fuck you! Fuck you! 804 00:39:20,758 --> 00:39:23,561 ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ ♪ I don't wanna fight tonight ♪ 805 00:39:23,595 --> 00:39:26,689 ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ ♪ I don't wanna fight tonight ♪ 806 00:39:26,723 --> 00:39:28,274 ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ 807 00:39:28,308 --> 00:39:30,860 ♪ I don't want to fight ♪ 808 00:39:30,894 --> 00:39:34,197 ♪ Tonight with you ♪ 809 00:39:35,398 --> 00:39:36,616 {\an8}Good morning. 810 00:39:36,649 --> 00:39:38,785 {\an8}How long until you can fix me? 811 00:39:39,652 --> 00:39:42,171 {\an8}I need the truth! 812 00:39:43,573 --> 00:39:44,591 {\an8}I don't know. 813 00:39:46,117 --> 00:39:48,211 {\an8}But I'm making really good progress. 814 00:39:48,244 --> 00:39:50,263 {\an8}It's incredible. 815 00:39:52,457 --> 00:39:53,299 {\an8}No. 816 00:39:53,333 --> 00:39:54,425 {\an8}Moving forward, 817 00:39:54,459 --> 00:39:55,927 {\an8}everything that happens in this lab 818 00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:58,313 {\an8}will be authorized by me. 819 00:39:58,546 --> 00:39:59,973 {\an8}Mom wrote something? 820 00:40:00,006 --> 00:40:01,641 {\an8}The story is viral. 821 00:40:01,674 --> 00:40:04,394 {\an8}This is a ticking time bomb that is going to blow. 822 00:40:04,427 --> 00:40:06,529 {\an8}But you're gonna fix that. 823 00:40:09,933 --> 00:40:11,951 {\an8}That means the world to me. 824 00:40:12,418 --> 00:40:13,903 {\an8}Richard, were you at my house? 825 00:40:13,937 --> 00:40:15,705 {\an8}Lindy, wherefore art thou? 826 00:40:17,607 --> 00:40:19,375 {\an8}I was in the-- I was in the neighborhood. 827 00:40:20,777 --> 00:40:23,079 {\an8}So I think Mom has had... 828 00:40:23,112 --> 00:40:25,081 {\an8}An emotional breakdown? She--no, no, no, no. 829 00:40:25,114 --> 00:40:26,666 {\an8}So Hurricane Lindy is tracking northeast. 830 00:40:26,699 --> 00:40:27,717 {\an8}No, don't say that. 831 00:40:29,869 --> 00:40:30,920 {\an8}I'm the villain. 832 00:40:32,830 --> 00:40:34,257 {\an8}Lindy! 833 00:40:34,290 --> 00:40:35,183 {\an8}Oh, fuck! 834 00:40:37,126 --> 00:40:38,344 {\an8}Oh, God. 835 00:40:38,378 --> 00:40:40,305 {\an8}I've created a tiny monster.